Saturday, 7 April 2018

Guide for Unlucky Campers - Article

If you are reading this, you are one of the unlucky campers being sent off to Camp Green Lake.
You are probably thinking that Camp Green Lake is somewhere with a huge freshwater lake for
swimming and having fun, and you probably think that it is a place with a lot of trees and maybe
some bushes or something like that...right? Well, here comes the reality of it. This particular camp is
actually the opposite of what you could be thinking. Camp Green Lake is actually a desert. No lake,
No trees, No fun, Not even any GREEN.  It is just a plain blazing hot desert. That’s why I’m here to give
you a guide of how to survive at Camp Green Lake!

First of all, what extra things you should consider taking?. Water... is the number one priority. Trust me,
you’re gonna want you’re own water to have when the provided canteen hasen’t been filled yet.
Otherwise, look forward to being thirsty for the next year or so. Secondly, Take a bit of food but stash
it away somewhere, so that you can eat it on your own or if you could just decide to eat the horrible
food given to you there. There isn’t much of it. Something else you could take is maybe some spare
clothes to wear when you’re not working you bum off. And maybe also take a hat to cover your face,
you’re really gonna need it, seeing as it’s a desert with steaming hot sun blazing down on you everyday.
Maybe, if take some pepper spray for self defence and i recommend learning how to fight/ defend

Next, how should you act when you arrive? You normally arrive on a bus which takes you
approximately 7-8 hours depending on where you are coming from. When you arrive at camp
green lake, at least try to act like you’re not surprised or act sort of staunch. But, most important of
all, don’t have attitude and don’t take what people say seriously, unless their telling you their
nicknames/names. Take that really seriously. Understand, what the warden tells you about running
away because, there really isn’t for another hundred miles. Anyways, overall, act staunch and stay
committed to just doing your time at Camp Green Lake and getting it over with.

What to say? If people ask you what your name is, Just say your name and they will probably have
you’re nickname sorted out already. If someone asks you if you want water, say yes but without attitude.
Whatever you do, don’t really ask anyone to help you with your work unless, they offer first and if the
counsellor talks to you, tell him everything. He will help you sort your life out. So, yeah just say what
you feel like saying. Just watch out what you say to certain people.

Who should you be wary of? This is a big question. One is Mr. Sir. He isn’t really scary, but I believe
that he is a quite suspicious counsellor. Similar to Mr. Pendanski. But, Mr Sir is just plain mean and
sarcastic. Not in a good way either. Mr. Sir wears sunglasses even when he’s inside, he wears a hat
all the time and he has a rattlesnake tattoo. I also recommend keeping your distance with Mr. Pendanski
for he acts really kind and nice, but he could do something else. He is suspicious but if he offers you
water, check it and take if you feel safe. So, look out for Mr. Sir and Mr. Pendanski. Most of the other
fellow inmates are fine and harmless. Most times. Oh and before I forget. The warden owns the only
spot of shade there is in the entire desert.

What to look out for when digging holes? I didn’t tell you this before but when you arrive at Camp
Green Lake, when Mr. Sir is speaking to you, he will talk to you about your job. You will be digging 1 hole
each day that has to be 5 ft tall and 5 ft wide. When you think of it, it sounds pretty easy. But no. It’s hard
work, especially when working in a desert. Anyways, what to look out for? Top priority! Be aware of
Yellow-Spotted Lizards! They don’t sound so do they? Actually, they are! One bite from a
yellow-spotted lizard and that’s you. You will die a slow and painful death. You might as well go lay in the
warden’s shade. No one can bother you there. And if you seem to find anything like treasure or
something you think is valuable, then whatever you do, don’t tell anyone. Try your best to hide it away. Yeah, so
look out for anything valuable and look out for yellow-spotted lizards.

That’s it for my guide on how to survive you’re time at camp green lake. Hopefully this will be
helpful for you unlucky campers headed for this horrible, terrible place known as Camp Green Lake.

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