Best Birthday Ever Marking Paragraph

Marking My Paragraph
	What I need to do:	Explained for me:	My Mark out of 5
1.CONTENT	I have a key idea in the first paragraph sentence - supported by details in following sentences.	The paragraph is about ONE main idea. The idea has detail in the next sentences.	5
2.SENTENCE BEGINNINGS	I’ve carefully chosen vocabulary and clauses as sentence beginnings.	Sentences begin differently. Sentences begin in interesting ways using 'Adverbial Clauses'.	4
3.VARIETY OF SENTENCES	I’ve carefully chosen a variety of sentence types lengths complexities.	Sentences are different lengths (sizes). Some sentences are Complex (long with detail), some Simple (short and powerful).	5
4.VOCABULARY	I’ve carefully chosen clever vocabulary and have used it appropriately.	The right words (key vocab) have been used to add detail and say exactly what you mean, and make sense.	5
5. LANGUAGE	Language uses the right tenses and vocab.	Writing makes sense. The right tenses ( past, present, future) and vocabulary (interesting words) are used in the right place.	5
6.PUNCTUATION	Sentences are clear with appropriate punctuation.	Capitals are used for sentences beginnings. Capitals are used for proper nouns (names of people and places). Full stops are used at the end of sentences. Commas, question marks, speech marks and exclamation marks used in the right places ( . , ! ? " ").	5
			TOTAL 29/30

My Best Birthday Ever

My Best Birthday Ever!

I am going to explain to you about my best birthday ever. It was when I was turning 5 years old. It was a very cool party. I am going to tell you about that.

It was a Saturday on the 28th of November. I tried to sleep in, but my mum woke me up. As soon as my mum left the room I went back to sleep, but she just kept on waking me up. So then I stayed up. I had breakfast with my family. It was delicious.

In the afternoon I had to stay inside because they were setting up my birthday outside. On my birthday we were at our old house. By the way back to the birthday….. everyone was outside setting up and my mum and dad were ringing my uncles, cousins, aunts, nana,s and papas over to come to my house. You know why.

After that they had finished and everyone had come. So I went outside and it was amazing. Everyone was there,everything was set up. There were a lot of presents and my uncle bought me a pool. Guess what I did to it, I popped it with the scissors. It was really funny. I opened all my presents before we had the cake. There were so many it took ages to open them all.

Furthermore, we then had the cake. It was a big chocolate cake. I loved it. if you were there, you would have enjoyed it. everyone went home and the birthday was over. I felt awesome after that. I wished that it could go on forever. But it couldn't. It was a fabulous and fantastic day.

  

Best Birthday Ever Recount

I am going to explain to you about my best birthday ever. It was when I was turning 5 years old. It was a very cool party. I am going to tell you about that.

It was a Saturday on the 28th of November. I tried to sleep in, but my mum woke me up. As soon as my mum left the room I went back to sleep, but she just kept on waking me up. So then I stayed up. I had breakfast with my family. It was delicious.

In the afternoon I had to stay inside because they were setting up my birthday outside. On my birthday we were at our old house. By the way back to the birthday….. everyone was outside setting up and my mum and dad were ringing my uncles, cousins, aunts, nana,s and papas over to come to my house. You know why.

After that they had finished and everyone had come. So I went outside and it was amazing. Everyone was there,everything was set up. There were a lot of presents and my uncle bought me a pool. Guess what I did to it, I popped it with the scissors. It was really funny. I opened all my presents before we had the cake. There were so many it took ages to open them all.

Furthermore, we then had the cake. It was a big chocolate cake. I loved it. if you were there, you would have enjoyed it. everyone went home and the birthday was over. I felt awesome after that. I wished that it could go on forever. But it couldn’t. It was a fabulous and fantastic day.  

Share The Love Acrostic Poem

Share The Love

WALT: write an acrostic poem about yourself

Topic: Me Audience: PES, whanau, worldwide blog audience. Purpose: To tell people about yourself.

Text type: Poetic

Key vocabulary, terms and instructions: Adjectives: Are describing words Keep it positive Try and write more than one word per line if possible

Helpful Links: Adjectives to describe people and a Dictionary

Structure: Write an acrostic poem using your name: Example: Loving and kind to others Intelligent and Interesting Special inside and out Adventurous and an Angel

When you have finished please check it and get a buddy to check it too. Use google drawing or sumopaint, example: *If you finish early, create an acrostic poem for a special member (like your mum, dad, aunty, uncle or grandparent hint, hint brownie points people!)

Magnificent teacher

Really intelligent person

Brainy

Awesome and amazing

Xtra cool

Awesome and loving kid

Talented person

Amazing

Really brainy

Excellent

Intelligent

Thoughtful

Always available to help others

Explanation About Using Your W.I.T.S

Hi my name is Atareita and I am going to explain what Use your W.I.T.S means.For every paragraph I will do an Example for what the letter stands for.

The W stands for Walk Away. Walk Away means that if someone is being mean to you, then you just need to walk away. For Example: I was going to grab my shoes and then one of the boys in my class came along and just pushed me for no reason. So does that mean I turn around and push him back. No it doesn’t. I just needed to walk away from that boy.

The I stands for Ignore It. Ignore It means that if a year 8 girl comes past you and starts to swear at you and be mean then you need to turn around and ignore her. For Example: You are just going past her and you are going to play a game with your friends.She just comes behinds you and chucks a basketball at your head. Should you grab it and chuck it back at her head, No you ignore her. If you chuck it back at her then you will get in trouble as well. You don’t want that to happen, so just ignore her.

The 3rd letter is T which means Talk About It. Talk About It means if the same person is being mean to you then you need to Talk about It. For Example: The same person keeps on bullying you and you just don’t like it. So you talk to her about it. You say “Hey I don’t like you being mean to me for no reason. I haven’t done anything to you.So can you please stop being mean to me” and then she should say yes. But if she keeps on being mean then….. ( read the explanation on the last letter)

I think you know what the last letter is. Well if you didn’t know then the last letter is S which means Seek Help. Seek Help means that if that girl is still being mean to you, you then need to go and find a Judy teacher. They will come with you sort it out. Then she will stop being mean to you. That is how you sort out your problems.

	Needs work	Getting there	Got it!
Title	No title or title doesn't have to do with the topic.	Title has to do with the topic but doesn't give very much information. (e.g. “Snails.”).	Title gives information about what the explanation will tell you (e.g. “How snails eat.”).
Paragraphs	Explanation is not broken into paragraphs.	Explanation has paragraphs but it does not have one idea per paragraph.	Explanation has one idea per paragraph, and includes an introduction and summary.
Vocabulary	There are no special words that relate to your topic.	There are some special words that relate to your topic, but some are missing.	All the special words that relate to your topic are there.
Grammar	Doesn't use joining words like because or so to show cause and effect. Doesn't use timeless present tense.	Sometimes uses joining words to show cause and effect. Mostly uses timeless present tense.	Uses joining words to show cause and effect whenever this is needed. Always uses timeless present tense.
Sequencing	Explanation of events is not in sequence.	Explanation of events is mostly in sequence.	Explanation of events is in sequence.
Punctuation	Hardly ever uses full stops, commas and capital letters correctly.	Usually uses capital letters, commas and full stops correctly.	Almost always or always uses capital letters, commas and full stops correctly.

  

Do Not Feed The Fish Poster

Exercise Investigation

We were doing something different to the endurance one. We tested our resting pulse. Then we did some exercise and tested our pulse after the exercise. Take a look.

Endurance Investigation

we were discovering how long we could hold a chair up in the air with our arms completley straight.

Atareita Vocaroo Marine Reserve

Record music with Vocaroo >>

My New Classes 9 and 10

My Holiday Highlight

My Holiday Highlight

Me, my aunty, uncle, mum, dad, brother and sisters went to Murawai Beach  because it was too hot to just stay home and do nothing.

At Murawai me, my sister, dad, brother and my uncle went for a swim and  there were huge as waves that were bowling us over when we were  swimming. The waves were bowling us over because we just sat on the  ocean floor. They were really big waves.

After we had a swim we hopped out of the water and got changed. Once everyone had got changed, we played on the park for about 10 - 15 minutes. On the park we played on the monkey bars, the slide and on the big spider web. It was really cool. Man if you go there trust me you will love it.

Furthermore, We then went home and had a feed. After the feed we relaxed and went to sleep. Once the day was over I felt amazing. I had such a great time I wish I could stay there for as long as I wanted to.

                                      THE END